Dating should be less about matching outward circumstances than meeting your inner necessity.
Mark Amend
Every year the public psychiatry fellowship holds breakfasts for the alumni and current fellows. The winter breakfast revolves around alumni discussing their current employment and why they choose that particular opportunity versus others. Fellows are typically interested in this breakfast because they are knee-deep in negotiations. One of the fellows at breakfast mentioned how she didn’t know how to navigate negotiating with multiple facilities. My mind went directly to dating as she discussed her dilemma. Actually, my mind always goes to dating with any situation that involves commitment. This spans finding a mate, picking a job, choosing an employee, and so much more. As I explained my analogy to dating I realized how dangerous an analogy it was because not everyone dates well. I also asked her marital status and realized the flaw as the words came out of my mouth. Being married does not signify being a healthy dater. Nor does being married imply that someone is too far removed to understand dating. I found myself having to backtrack the dating analogy and explain which aspects of healthy dating could be applied to her situation. Here are a few nuggets I gave her to help her date the various facilities and get the job that’s best for her:
1. Know what you want.
2. Be Transparent .
3. You don’t owe anyone anything.
4. Being chosen is great, but choosing yourself is better.
5. It’s not forever.
All of these points could be posts on their own, so I’ll leave you with these cliffhangers .